For many years I ran from God. I believed that God was unfair — that he would send me to hell because I couldn’t measure up to what he expected of me. So I hid.
For many years I searched for peace, but couldn’t find it. But one day I realized that the only way I would have peace was to make peace with God. So I did. And I immediately realized that God did not expect the things I had thought he expected of me. I realized that he just wanted me to put my life in his hands. That’s all he ever wanted.
From that day on my attitude and behavior changed. I was less angry, I stopped binge drinking, and I cared more about others. I had a deep interest in learning — a thirst for books. I enjoyed spending time alone in deep introspection. And I was able to find peace. Sometimes I lost it (still do), but I knew where to find it and I knew it was okay to go there without guilt or shame.
With these changes came wisdom. I discovered that there was an innate wisdom within me — epiphany type thoughts would come to me regularly. They still do. So I write them down. This has become the basis for my blog. It turns out that many of those thoughts resonate with others. Sometimes at just the right time (some of you have told me this). None of this ever would have been possible if not for the revelation of God’s grace (unmerited favor) all those years ago.