By confidence, I don’t mean the ability to project confidence. And I’m not talking about trying to build confidence through positive thinking. I’m talking about real confidence. A better term would be inner peace.
Without inner peace, we don’t possess real confidence — we’re only acting confident, as a way of masking our insecurities. When we think of confidence we tend to think of someone who doesn’t have insecurities, but the truth is we all have insecurities. We cannot have real confidence until we are willing to admit to ourselves that those insecurities exist.
Confidence is not about winning battles over our insecurities ie; ignoring them, pretending they don’t exist, doing macho things in order to silence them or to show others how fearless we are.
Even confidence obtained through skill is fleeting. We can become very confident in our abilities at work, in sports, etc., but this doesn’t necessarily carryover into all other parts of life and we might still lack inner peace. We can all think of highly skilled people who are great at what they do and who are very confident in their abilities, but struggle with confidence in other parts of their life.
Confidence can certainly be built through skill and experience, but it is not transcendent. That type of confidence is dependent on familiarity with a particular activity or environment. We can certainly find things that can give us a feeling of confidence and security, but these things can do nothing for us if they are taken away or not available to us.
Real confidence has to be found within. There are resources that can aid us in finding that inner confidence (hopefully my words help), but ultimately each of us has to turn within and make peace with ourselves and with God.