Most of the time, when someone argues with you, they’re not going to come armed with all the relevant facts. They’re most likely going to be winging it, based on anecdotes and personal biases. They likely won’t be persuaded by the facts you present or by your reasoning. At least, not on the first attempt. You might be able to plant a seed, but that’s about it.

And if someone is trying to make a point, there’s not much chance they’ll understand your point until it’s clear to them that you understand theirs.