People mostly want to do the right thing. Incentives matter a lot, though. They motivate us and drive both good and bad behavior.

Usually, we choose to do good because it’s in our best interest to do so. That may sound harsh, but the truth is self-interest can be subtle and unconscious. This doesn’t mean we don’t care about others, but it’s important to recognize that self-interest is often at work on some level.

At the very least, we want to be thought well of, and we want to think well of ourselves. In other words, we want to believe that we’re good, and we want others to think so too. Often, that’s the self-interest at work, not always a calculated move to gain something.

Excessive self-interest is a trait that we need to guard against. We usually spot it in other people, but not always. We notice it even less in ourselves—nobody fools us more than we fool ourselves. It’s one of the many blind spots that become visible when we’re willing to be radically honest with ourselves.