Cooperation is the glue that keeps society together, but a certain amount of healthy competition is also good—even necessary. Problems arise when competition becomes cutthroat, or when we attach our self-worth to it.

Competition can become an obsession, especially when certain accolades are attached to it and when it’s culturally reinforced through the media, in schools, in the workplace, and at home.

Living as though you have something to prove—that you matter—is a game that can never truly be won. Partly because the game never ends and partly because it’s based on a false premise.

Competition should arise naturally. For example, two businesses trying to serve the same client base shouldn’t be obsessed with destroying each other. The focus should be on providing better service to clients, and as a result, one will likely do better than the other.

That’s the way it often is, but in many cases cheating is involved. Sabotaging your “opponent” or manipulating potential clients isn’t a decent way to behave.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with being competitive. With wanting to be your best. With wanting to excel in a particular domain. The problem is obsession—believing you only matter if you’re better than, or have more than, someone else. Or becoming obsessed with survival at the expense of others, and with deriving your sense of self-worth through tribal one-upmanship.

This kind of competitiveness lacks mindfulness. Mindfulness keeps us grounded, focused on what’s most important, and help us recognize the ego traps of the world. When we’re mindful, we don’t get caught up in separating ourselves or trying to distinguish ourselves from other people. Instead, we recognize our interconnectedness.